Do you show more generosity to others than to yourself?
Our relationship with generosity can be complex and say a lot about us.
We might be generous with our time, money, skills, love. Perhaps we give more than we ever get. Rarely does generosity have an agenda.
Generosity and kindness to others can give us purpose, identity, pleasure, even excitement.
But we may also be generous in the silent hope of being liked, forgiven, loved, thought of as a good person.
Some give generously in order to receive. And if we don’t get anything back, we might feel bitter, angry, resentful – outwardly or inwardly.
Not everyone receives generosity with the appreciation it deserves.
Have you ever been generous to others who did not want to receive anything from you?
Generosity can also be controlling.
We might be generous because we do not know any other way of relating to others.
Compulsive ‘givers’ may find it difficult to ask to be given. If they are offered generosity, they might find it difficult to receive.
There can be a fine balance between being generous and being taken for granted.
There are reasons for generosity, as there are consequences to giving and receiving.
If you are generous, but notice that you are left rather dissatisfied by the experience, then it might be worth thinking about what might be going on.
Why are you generous to others? And are you equally generous to yourself?
Which statement describes you best – now? And which would you like to describe you best?
I have been generous all my life, and look at me now. I have been used. I have been sucked dry.
I have been generous all my life and I have grown in abundance.
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Need some advice? Submit your question to my #DearKarin advice column here. Karin Sieger BA (Hons), MA (PsychCouns), Reg. MBACP (Accred) is a therapist and writer. All rights reserved © Karin Sieger. Neither articles nor videos substitute medical advice or therapy.