Your grief is as individual as you. There is no ‘one size fits all’ strategy for coping with it. That is why I am bringing you this grief collection of readers’ and listeners’ favourite articles and podcast episodes.
Some general but important points about grief
✅ Grief is not always about death
When things change in our lives we can be moved so deeply that we feel grief and bereft. Often this is associated with death, but it does not have to be so.
Loss of health, good fortune, financial and social status or security, the ending of friendships and relationships and ageing are some of many reasons why we feel thrown into bereavement. And sometimes this can happen ahead of the change taking place – when we see it coming our way.
✅ Grief can be complex and profound.
Our feelings can be unpredictable and change from empty numbness to hot red rage, depression, fear, anger and hopelessness. It can be confusing for us and others.
Grief is exhausting – emotionally, mentally and physically.
✅ We may try and avoid or deny grief for fear of never getting out of it.
But the truth is – grief is something we need to allow and feel. Because we need to face up to the reality of what is happening.
It is the only way of to learn to cope, come up for air, gradually re-balance ourselves, create perspective for the life we have and live it the best we can.
Otherwise, the risk is to get stuck in grief for a very long time, indeed. And that can cloud the rest of our lives.
✅ To face grief we need to pace ourselves.
It is a gradual process, that may get worse before it gets better. There are swings and roundabouts, 2 steps forward and 1 step back moments. But over time you will learn to cope and look ahead.
My Grief Collection
I hope that my grief collection will assist you in finding your path, whatever type of grief and reasons for bereavement you are facing in your life.
The following is divided into themes, which may help you find what you need. Possibly more than one section may assist you in your circumstances.
You can dip in and out whenever you have time and feel like it.
1. Grief Collection: Coping with grief
What to expect, how to prepare and how to get through it. A detailed review of mental, emotional and physical grief challenges and how to cope. Read the article.
? Coronavirus Bereavement and Grief
Loss and bereavement during the coronavirus crisis is especially challenging. How to prepare and how to cope. Read the article.
In this episode of my podcast ‘Soul Cravings’ I talk about coping with grief, whether it is a person who has died or left, a pet, a friendship or other chapters in our life that have come to an end: loss hurts. Listen to the podcast.
In this episode of my podcast “Soul Cravings” I speak with Kim about the book (which is a themed collection of poetry, mindfulness and journaling prompts), her own experience of grief, how she coped and her advice for self care during grief. Listen to the podcast.
2. Grief Collection: Losing someone
In this episode of my podcast ‘Soul Cravings’ I speak with author and widow Maryanne Pope about her own grief experience when she lost her husband in an avoidable accident. Listen to the podcast.
I have accompanied some people in their death. And each handled it differently. Because each was different in their lives and so also in their deaths. Here I share one particular experience, when the way in which a friend handled their own death and those around her helped strengthen my relationship with my own mortality. Read the article.
The death of a therapist, coach for mentor can be a very special kind of grief, often misunderstood and played down. Here I share my own experience of my therapist dying. Read the article.
3. Grief Collection: Illness
Life-changing illnesses, accidents and events can make us feel frightened, vulnerable and bereft. Then we have to re-build and start growing our confidence again. Read the article.
If you are affected by cancer, then the death of others from cancer can be extra hard. Because it is a constant reminder of the unpredictability of the illness. In this article I share my step by step guide to coping with these (sadly) constant reminders. Read the article here or listen to the podcast here.
The impact of cancer and treatment is physical, mental and emotional. This does not end with treatment. Illness can change everything and we grieve for the life we had or will never have. Read the article here or listen to the podcast here.
The pressure of having cancer and other life-changing illnesses can change us and those around us. It can make relationships stronger, weaker or show them for what they have been all along. Listen to the podcast here.
If you are affected by chemo hair loss, then you know that losing our hair is also about losing a bit of our identity, self confidence and how we feel about our place in society. How to cope with chemo hair loss. Read the article.
Losing our fertility is a special loss, even if we had decided not to have any (more) children. Infertility was one of the side effects of my first cancer treatment. Read the article.
4. Grief Collection: Talking about death
Talking about death does not coming easy, in our society and in families. We may want to protect ourselves and others from the pain. But may it be more helpful to open up about how we feel? Read the article.
You may have experienced it, you may be thinking of doing it. There are many scenarios and reasons why people do not want to talk about their impending death and say good bye. In this article I reflect on a personal experience. Read the article.
In this article from my ‘Dear Karin’ advice column I reflect on difficulties in families, when grieving or lack of can lead to disappointments and conflict. Read the article.
In this article from my ‘Dear Karin’ advice column I reflect on the difficulty friends and non-relatives can experience about spending time with the one who is dying. Read the article.
5. Grief Collection: Occasions
Festive seasons, whatever your religion or society, can be extra hard when we grief. Because these seasons are loaded with memories, expectations, social pressure and often we can be left feeling even more isolated and separate from others. Read the article.
Grief anniversaries are not always easy, but necessary and can be helpful. Read the article.
Mother’s and Father’s Day can be complex and remind us of what once was and may never be – our own families, parents and children that may have died or the children we never had. Read the article.
6. Grief Collection: Grieving about things we cannot change
We can also grieve about decisions we took, choices we made. Regrets are a form of grief about a loss of possibilities and opportunities that cannot be undone. It can be a very profound and damaging form of grief. How to cope and face up to our regrets? Read the article here or listen to the podcast here.
Grief does not need a death. Many changes in our lives can make us feel bereft – mid life crisis, losing a job, the end of a relationship. And such crises can make us feel empty, without meaning or purpose. But such phases of grief can also bring new opportunities. Read the article.
7. Coping with grief needs self care
Grief can makes us feel exhausted and unwell. Looking after our wellbeing is essential. Here are some articles that may help you find ways of helping yourself.
Grief and loss is something we all experience in our lives. Yet it can make us feel very alone and lonely. Trust that you will find a way to cope and live with grief that works for you.
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